Why blog?

Well ... because one of my Facebook pages told me to, of course:

 https://www.facebook.com/WordsofWisdom444

Using your intuition, choose one or more of the following and then go to the first comment for your guidance **Flake, Like, Burgundy, Nose, Scarf** Wishing you all a magical day!!

True to my Nervous Nellie nature, and given that this blog is about my rock climbing exploits and we sometimes climb on, over, around, into, under, and/or alongside flakes of rock, I naturally gravitated towards "Flake" ...

Flake - You're being called to write your story. Certainly you can use your computer and type away, but there is something therapeutic in the act of writing with pen and paper. You've got a story within you that needs to be told, and how you choose to tell that story is completely up to you. Allow yourself to let go of worries regarding proper grammar and sentence format, and just write whatever comes up. This is a very healing ritual for you at this time, and you can decide when you're done whether you want to share your story, or keep it for yourself.

So ... here 'tis!!

Not too keen on the pen and paper business, and my OCD tendencies would absolutely prohibit anything but "proper grammar and sentence format" but hey - the devil's in the detail. I particularly like the suggestion that I can decide whether or not to share the story ... for now, it stays with me, although it's written with some non-specific audience in mind and told via a vaguely anonymous voice.

In actual fact, the idea of writing my story first "dropped in" - as ideas sometimes do, right out of the blue - in the middle of an 8-day climbing holiday in the Blue Mountains (more about that holiday in a later post). We were on our way to Blackheath, on a day off the rock, and I was idly noting to my climber boyfriend (and more about him later, too) that the vast majority of climbing books and blogs are written by - and for - "experts in the field" (an expert having once been described to me as a has-been with a drip ... ex-spurt) who have long since forgotten what it was like to fumble around with beginner feet and be overcome by a raging panic attack, and that what's really needed is a book for newbies, written by newbies and full of useful newbie pointers and appropriately encouraging newbie noises. So the next most logical bright idea was for me to jump right in there and start a-writing. Climber boy wasn't visibly impressed, but the gals at work, when I ran the idea past them during our next morning tea together, were thoroughly excited.

Funnily enough, the Words of Wisdom "Nose" option attracted me too. Perhaps because I'm rather given to "following my nose" in the first instance and then watching my long-suffering, more logical, cerebral self catch up somewhat belatedly and engage damage control. Perhaps also thanks to an Indian friend who once paid me the height of Indian compliments by exclaiming that I have "a nose that could cut a cake" ... an innocent enough observation that was immediately followed by the qualification (prompted, no doubt, by the fact that partner-at-the-time fell off his chair and was ROTFLMFAO) that amongst Indian people, a long, straight, sharp nose is a feature of sublime beauty. It soon became a long-standing family joke, retold to subsequent partners at a moment of intimate trust.

Nose - You're being asked to pay attention to your body. You know what is right for you and your body is validating that truth to you in various ways. Please don't discount what you feel as nerves or something else. If something feels right - it is. If it does not feel right - it isn't. The more you honor yourself by heeding your intuition, the more in touch you become and the more answers you have access to. Have faith.

Hmmmm ... don't discount those nerves, huh?! In 12 months of climbing almost every weekend, I've experienced at least 52 sets of panic attacks. Yep - that's about as many climbing weekends as there are in a year. Not that I've discounted my nerves, particularly. My mother used to call me "Bastian contrario" - an idiomatic Italian expression referring to one who assumes opinions and attitudes that are diametrically opposed to those of the majority. It wasn't meant as a compliment. More to the point, in spite of the crippling panic attacks and frequent emotional meltdowns at the rock face, something about this climbing thang has always felt "right" to me ... and so I've persevered.  As has the ever-patient climber boy (more about him in a later post). So, in faith, I climb on ...

"Theirs not to reason why,  

  Theirs but to do and die"

Thank you Alfred Lord Tennyson. I'm not yet privy to the universal purposes of this blog about my climbing journey and - through it - my personal dance with my fear demons. Nor am I, as yet, aware of what part of my existence is destined to expire through the process. But I trust the process will be of value in the greater scheme of all things good and useful in the world.

xxoo NN